I am beginning to have mixed feelings about my hair. As you will recall, when I first cut it, I intended to grow it out, again. That has not transpired. I just recently cut it short again, in a style reminiscent of (and in fact inspired by) Orlando Bloom’s hair in the movie Troy. I love it. It is delightfully androgynous, equal parts urban chic and boyish charm. But that is not the problem.
Hair Wars: The Long and the Short of It
The problem is that I know longer know where I am headed. Shall I continue wearing my hair short, or shall I grow it out, again? I am quite adamant that my hair must be worn long for my wedding, a few years out, even if that means wearing wigs. It would almost be offensive, at a personal level, to do otherwise. I feel that in my gut and brain, alike. But curiously, that does not translate over to my decision-making for the everyday. Clearly, long hair is important to me in a ritual sense. But that, in itself, is not a reason to grow out my hair. I have several years, at least, until my wedding (ours is a very long-term engagement), and so it does not have a direct bearing on my decision.
My thoughts are further complicated by the knowledge that what I am comparing my cut hair to is not, itself, full length, but rather the length I had it when I graduated high school. Unfortunately, it has been three-and-a-half years, since then, and frankly I don’t remember that haircut very well, beyond a very vague memory of a favorable impression and that it still responded well to curlers. Lucky for me, cameras were invented before that time.
Yup, I wore a sari to the Prom.
So between the two, I am coming upon a very difficult decision, in the near future. It is primarily an ideological one, which puts this strikingly at odds with my other attempts to master my fashion sense. But while I am uncomfortable with the notion of putting ideology before the impression I convey to others, I am more uncomfortable still with continuing to conceive of my “Self” in a way that I no adequately longer represent, externally (i.e., a shorthaired “longhair”). Who knows? Perhaps there is a happy medium.